How To Test If A Girl Loves You? – Words from a Heartbroken Person (I Experienced a Few in my Relationship)

She made me fall in love with her when I was not mindful to understand even the L of love. She chased me again and again and that allured me to talk to her.

I was feeling proud by talking to a girl and also showing off among friends that I have a girlfriend to talk to. 

But I was completely unaware of the trap that girl was weaving for me. 

While I am now free from all these things, I wanted to bring things online to help you guys refrain from such kinds of things.   

After all, 

Love is a beautiful feeling that can make your life more meaningful and enjoyable. But sometimes, love can also be a source of pain and confusion, especially when you are not sure if the person you love truly loves you back or is just using you for their own benefit. 

So, the question is how can you tell the difference between genuine love and fake love? How can you avoid being fooled by someone who does not care about your feelings and needs? How can you protect yourself from being hurt by someone who is not loyal and faithful to you?

In this detailed guide, I will share with you signs that can help you how to test if a girl loves you. These signs are based on my personal experiences of being in a relationship with a girl who turned out to be a manipulative and selfish person who did not value me as a partner. 

I will also share with you some lessons that I learned from this experience and how you can apply them in your future relationships.

Let’s see what data and study says about signs of true love and love that only plays around someone’s emotions 

Study 1: According to a study by Harvard Medical School, “love has different phases and moods, and the early phase of love is characterized by high levels of serotonin and dopamine, which can make people feel “stupid” and “obsessive”. However, these levels gradually return to normal after the first year of love, and are replaced by oxytocin, which is associated with a calmer and more mature form of love.” 

Study 2: A psychologist from Psychology Today suggests that “infatuation is an intense and often unrealistic attraction to someone, while genuine love is a connection based on mutual respect, trust, and honesty. She also lists some warning signs of infatuation, such as being convinced that the person is perfect, sacrificing one’s own values and needs for the relationship, having intrusive thoughts about them, and struggling with jealousy and anxiety.” 

Study 3: According to Psychology Today, “unrequited love is incredibly common, and it is estimated that over 90 percent of people have had some experience with it by their early 20s. Much of unrequited love is about indecision and unwillingness to walk away, despite red flags and warning signs.” When a romantic pursuit causes one to compromise their integrity, it’s time to step back and get help.

Study 4: According to the Power of Positivity, “there are some behaviors that women show when they are in love with someone, such as giving presents, acting slightly childish, being interested in your life, and being shy around you. If a woman does not show these signs, or shows the opposite, such as being distant, cold, indifferent, or disrespectful, then she may not be in love with you.” 

Study 5: According to Better Help, “men may be more likely to be “hopeless romantics” than women, and that they may fall in love faster and express it sooner. However, men may also have different expectations and needs in a relationship, and they may value loyalty, respect, and admiration more than affection and intimacy.” 

Above data and facts prove that love has both sides. One is when a girl truly loves someone. Another is when a girl plays with someone’s emotions in the name of love. 

So, if you are in love with someone, you need to proceed cautiously with each step you move on. 

If I consider my real life experience of my relationship, I didn’t understand my one sided love for her as I was in an unrequited love. I surrendered everything for her but she was considering me just a time pass item. 

After a long time being in the relationship and spoiling myself mentally and physically, I came to know the fact. That is why I am here to tell the story.  

Moreover, let’s start with the things that always hit the mind of an individual who is in love or planning to be in love. 

Questions That Arise in Your Mind When You are in Love

Quetions Arise When You Are In Love
  • How do I know if a girl is playing me?
  • How do you know if your girlfriend is fooling you? 
  • What are the signs she is pretending to love you? 
  • What are the signs a girl is using you for attention? 
  • How to tell if a girl is using you as a backup? 
  • How do you know if a girl genuinely values you or she’s just fooling around? 

Also read:

Getting Hard to Live Without a Life Partner? Here is How to Find Love, Signs of Never Finding a Love and More

Not Happy with Your Love? 10 Rules to Breakup Respectfully and Say a Healthy Goodbye

How to Test if a Girl Loves You?

There is no definitive way to test if a girl loves you, because love is not something that can be measured or quantified. However, there are some indicators that can give you a clue about how a girl feels about you and how she treats you in the relationship. 

Some of these indicators are:

  • She respects you and your opinions, even if they are different from hers.
  • She supports you and your goals, and encourages you to pursue your dreams.
  • She listens to you and pays attention to what you say and do.
  • She communicates with you openly and honestly, and does not hide anything from you.
  • She trusts you and does not doubt your intentions or actions.
  • She is loyal and faithful to you, and does not flirt with other guys or cheat on you.
  • She is affectionate and attentive to you, and shows you physical and emotional intimacy.
  • She is happy and comfortable around you, and enjoys spending time with you.
  • She is interested in your hobbies and passions, and tries to learn more about them.
  • She is proud of you and your achievements, and compliments you sincerely.
  • She is considerate and thoughtful of you, and does not take you for granted.
  • She is generous and kind to you, and does not expect anything in return.
  • She is flexible and compromising with you, and does not always insist on having her way.
  • She is honest and loyal to you, and does not lie to you or betray you.
  • She is fun and adventurous with you, and tries new things with you.

These are some of the signs that can show you if a girl loves you or not. Of course, these signs are not foolproof, and they may vary depending on the personality and situation of the girl. However, they can give you a general idea of how a girl feels about you and how she values you in the relationship.

How Do You Know If Your Girlfriend is Fooling You?

On the other hand, there are also some signs that can indicate if your girlfriend is fooling you or using you for her own benefit. These signs are usually the opposite of the signs of love, and they can reveal the true nature and intention of your girlfriend. 

Some of these signs are:

  • She disrespects you and your opinions, and does not care about what you think or feel.
  • She discourages you and your goals, and tries to hold you back from achieving your potential.
  • She ignores you and does not pay attention to what you say or do.
  • She lies to you and hides things from you, and does not share anything with you.
  • She distrusts you and doubts your intentions or actions, and accuses you of being dishonest or unfaithful.
  • She is unfaithful and disloyal to you, and flirts with other guys or cheats on you.
  • She is cold and distant to you, and does not show you any physical or emotional intimacy.
  • She is unhappy and uncomfortable around you, and avoids spending time with you.
  • She is not interested in your hobbies and passions, and does not bother to learn more about them.
  • She is jealous and insecure of you and your achievements, and criticizes you harshly.
  • She is selfish and demanding of you, and takes you for granted.
  • She is stingy and greedy with you, and expects you to give her everything.
  • She is rigid and stubborn with you, and always wants to have her way.

These are some of the signs that can show you if your girlfriend is fooling you or not. Again, these signs are not conclusive, and they may vary depending on the personality and situation of your girlfriend. However, they can give you a general idea of how your girlfriend feels about you and how she treats you in the relationship.

When a Girl Starts Fooling You or Using You?

There is no exact time or reason when a girl starts fooling you or using you in a relationship. It may depend on various factors, such as her personality, her past experiences, her current situation, her expectations, her motives, etc. However, some of the possible reasons why a girl may start fooling you or using you are:

  • She is not really in love with you, but she is with you for some other reason, such as money, status, security, convenience, etc.
  • She is bored or unhappy with you, and she is looking for some excitement or satisfaction elsewhere.
  • She is insecure or unhappy with herself, and she is trying to boost her ego or self-esteem by playing with your feelings or manipulating you.
  • She is immature or irresponsible, and she does not know how to handle a serious or committed relationship.
  • She is selfish or greedy, and she doesn’t care about your feelings or needs, but only about her own.
  • She is dishonest or disloyal, and she does not respect you or the relationship, but only herself.

These are some of the possible reasons why a girl may start fooling you or using you in a relationship. Of course, these reasons are not exhaustive, and they may not apply to every girl or every situation. However, they can give you some insight into why a girl may behave in such a way and what her intentions may be.

If I talk about my love life, she started using me for her fun when she had a lot of time and I was the person she could fool easily. 

Personal Experiences of Love Life

In this section, I will share some of my personal experiences related to the signs that I mentioned above. I will also discuss some lessons that I learned from these experiences and how I can apply them in my future relationships.

Experience 1: She lied to me and hide things from me

One of the negative signs that I noticed in my relationship with my ex-girlfriend was that she lied to me and hide things from me. She did not share anything with me, and she did not communicate with me openly and honestly. She always had some excuses or reasons to avoid telling me the truth or to keep things from me. 

For example, she lied to me about where she was going, who she was with, what she was doing, etc. She also hid some important things from me, such as her past relationships, her family issues, her financial problems, etc.

This made me feel very hurt and betrayed, because I trusted her and I was honest with her. I felt like she did not respect me or the relationship, and she did not care about my feelings or needs. 

The lesson that I learned from this experience is that honesty and transparency are very important in a relationship. If a girl lies to you or hides things from you, it means that she does not trust you or value you. It means that she has something to hide or something to gain from you. It means that she is not committed or serious about the relationship. It means that she is not the right girl for you.

Therefore, in my future relationships, I will look for a girl who is honest and transparent with me. I will look for a girl who shares everything with me, and who does not hide anything from me. I will look for a girl who communicates with me openly and honestly, and who does not lie to me or betray me. I will look for a girl who respects me and the relationship, and who cares about my feelings and needs.

Experience 2: She was selfish and demanding of me

Another negative sign that I noticed in my relationship with my ex-girlfriend was that she was selfish and demanding of me. She did not care about my feelings or needs, but only about her own. She always expected me to give her everything, and she never gave me anything in return. She always wanted me to do things for her, and she never did anything for me. She always took me for granted, and she never appreciated me.

This made me feel very hurt and used, because I cared about her and I gave her everything. I felt like she did not respect me or the relationship, and she did not value me. 

The lesson that I learned from this experience is that generosity and kindness are very important in a relationship. If a girl is selfish and demanding of you, it means that she doesn’t love you or value you. It means that she is not committed or serious about the relationship. It means that she is not the right girl for you.

Therefore, in my future relationships, I will look for a girl who is generous and kind to me. I will look for a girl who cares about my feelings and needs, and who does not expect anything in return. I will look for a girl who does things for me, and who appreciates what I do for her. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, finding out if a girl is using you or really loves you can be challenging and confusing, but it is not impossible. By paying attention to the signs that I mentioned above, you can have a better idea of how a girl feels about you and how she treats you in the relationship. You can also learn from your own experiences and apply the lessons that you learned in your future relationships. 

Remember, a girl who loves you and values you:

  • will respect you, 
  • support you, listen to you, 
  • communicate with you, 
  • trust you, be loyal to you, 
  • be affectionate to you, 
  • be happy with you, 
  • be interested in you, 
  • be proud of you, 
  • be generous to you, 
  • be flexible with you,
  • be honest with you, 
  • and share everything with you. 

A girl who is fooling you or using you will do the opposite of these things. Therefore, pay attention to the signs discussed above and don’t hesitate to move on if you find anything wrong. I hope this post was helpful and informative for you. 

Thank you for reading.

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I'm Naphish Alam, an experienced lifestyle blogger and writer who passionately explores the intricacies of self improvement including human life, relationships, love, and more in the ever-evolving landscape of technology. My journey through life has been a rollercoaster, marked by its highs and lows, which have provided me with profound insights into the human experience. I draw inspiration from my personal story to create relatable, engaging, and thought-provoking content for you. Rest assured, every piece you find here has been meticulously crafted and edited by me as an industry expert. Join me as we explore the beauty and challenges of being human, build meaningful connections, and navigate the dynamic realm of life. Together, we'll uncover the gems of self-discovery, personal growth, one blog post at a time. Welcome to this incredible journey of exploration and inspiration.
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